Because I’ve Been There

When you have a crush on someone, or you like someone that you are close with, it can often be be a really difficult thing to deal with.

I firmly believe that a crush is actually a really sweet and heartfelt thing. Every time I have had a crush on a girl it has started so innocently and before I knew it, I was emotionally invested, and for the most part, I ignored the possibility of the crush being a bad or unhealthy thing. Not because I am selfish, or self centered, I just thought that everything I felt for the girl in question was for the good. Some guys are well tuned at hiding their feelings when they like a girl, others aren’t, I think I fall into the latter. I am not ashamed of that either, but when I look back I do wish I had have pulled the reigns in on my feelings a little more, maybe cooled my jets a little, slowed down and thought things through some more.


When you really like a girl, I mean really like her, you like what’s on the inside a hell of a lot more than what’s on the inside.

You actually care about her, more about her feelings than your own, and you will listen to her cry to you on the phone about her problems with the boyfriend, all the while knowing it is killing you inside because you wish you were that guy, and not the dude on the phone offering advice to her that she shouldn’t need because she shouldn’t be being treated that way in the first place by a guy who claims to care about the girl you love.

Its that emotional connection you feel towards her, and while sometimes that connection may not be as strong for her towards you, it often doesn’t matter to you because your feelings sometimes lead you to miss even the most obvious of signs that she isn’t interested in that way.

The friend zone. Oh my favorite term of them all.

Often, a crush is developed for the person you’d least expect, and the one who you are close to. Guess you have two choices, try your luck and hope it works out, or try to move on from your feelings while keeping the friendship alive and as strong as ever.

That’s the tough bit, but if you are a true friend, you will accept that she just likes you just as a mate, and also accept that you are only human and you will take time to move forward. But move forward you will.

Am I making any sense? I dunno.

My advice is don’t be too hard on yourself. I have tried and failed on many occasions to talk myself out of liking a girl, I have tried changing my thinking, but one thing I never tried was changing who I am. Sure, I am not the perfect guy, I don’t think anyone is perfect, but don’t judge yourself on a rejection, don’t sum yourself up as a human being by what you couldn’t achieve.

Place your self worth on the things you did achieve.

Sometimes the most heartbreaking things, like rejection, bring out the very best of what a human being has inside of them. People may argue that I try too hard, but every time a girl has rejected me, sure it sucked and it hurt really bad, some days it continues to hurt, but once I calmed down and actually reflected on the situation with a new clarity, I never felt like trying again with love some day in the future was an impossibility. Then I fall back into the traps of anger and sadness again, and make a very stupid decision which self destructs the friendship. But I never mean to, at least that is what I believe.

In simpler terms, just don’t give up on the belief that one day your time will come.

Enjoy what you enjoy, be the person you are, but don’t be afraid to put ya heart on the line with love, dating, or even friendship.

That’s all I got. I hope this made a bit of sense to the reader.




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