Sex & Disability – “I’ll Need To Ask My Carer First”

Privacy is a huge barrier that presents itself to people with disabilities who want to have a loving, physical, and intimate sex life.

People with high-end disabilities know it all too well, but for a new partner, the idea of someone else helping their boyfriend/girlfriend into bed to have sex is not only a foreign idea, but is also very awkward.

Let’s get some facts out of the way.

Sex isn’t something that you just get old enough to do and suddenly know everything about, it is a learning process, and you understand more about yourself as a sexual being the more times you engage in it.

Intimacy is something entirely different than sex, and that can often be even harder to find.

Many people would argue that in order to fully enjoy both sex and intimacy, and the joys of an eventual loving relationship, the person has to be ready to be in such a position. No relationship is perfect, but if both partners are not on the same page, at least to a certain extent, nothing will come of it. Sex is a natural part of a relationship, but it shouldn’t form the basis and/or beginning of it.

Sadly, a lot of people in 2016 mistake the difference between being ‘in love’ and enjoying really good sex with somebody.

Sex, intimacy, and relationships are all about discovery, and a gigantic leap of faith each time.

This level of discovery is something that many people living with a disability are yet to experience, but when they do, there is another big issue to contend with. All those basic needs, levels of curiosity, and intimate desires, often have to be experienced with the help of somebody else.

For people with high-needs, having a caregiver around is a constant necessity. Those carers are often parents and have been taking care of them since they were a young baby.

But now at a mature age, sexual curiosity and expression becomes a need of its own.

Even getting to the point of discussion is difficult, who wants to talk about sex with a parent or caregiver?

For someone with a high-end disability, engaging in sex, no matter what that looks like (seeing an escort of having a girlfriend), just isn’t able to be a 100% private thing, and it takes a special person to be able to accept that this is the level of restriction their partner faces.

Disabled people need more support and information in this area, the parents and caregivers can only do so much.

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