Sex & Disability: Looking At Ourselves

Hiding your disability to a potential sex partner or romantic interest may just be the worst thing you could do.

The more research I do on the area of sex and disability, the more I am finding that a lot of disabled people are expressing their feelings of frustration toward how they are perceived to be asexual or ‘incapable’ of physical intimacy.

People meet and engage with new friends or potential lovers through Social Media, and research shows that this is now occurring at a near equal rate as through the traditional means of going out and meeting someone at a bar or nightclub.

In some ways, Social Media acts as a good barrier for people in those initial stages and it minimises, but doesn’t diminish, the danger aspect. If nothing else, it makes conversation a little easier and it helps someone decide if they like the person enough to arrange another encounter, perhaps this time in person. Continue reading Sex & Disability: Looking At Ourselves

Barriers that don’t help disabled people find sex, lust, & adventure

Hook up apps like Tinder make sex a quick and easy find in 2016, but going out and getting laid isn’t quite as simple as swiping right for people living with a disability.

For a long time now, the general assumption amongst has been that most disabled people are asexual.

When was the last time that disability was brought up alongside sex education in schools? When did the government last mention New Zealand’s sex industry and disability in the same sentence?

Perhaps a bigger question – when was the last time you saw a disabled man or woman portrayed in a sexually satisfying way on mainstream media or in music videos?

The guess would be never.

In many ways, relationships are easier to form and engage in now than at any other time in human history.

Social media makes it easy to meet new people with similar interests, but it also allows a certain mystery in those innocent early moments.

If two people begin chatting on social media, it leads to an exciting meet up with this new person, perhaps at a nice coffee shop or at a bar, but it isn’t until that moment (or perhaps after) that the actual friendship, or the beginning of a relationship, really begins.

The great thing about social media is that it is accessible to everyone, if only the local community was the same.

Disabled people often face four major barriers, making a quick getaway from home to meet up with a girl in town almost impossible at short notice.

  • Transport
  • Care
  • Accessibility
  • Safety

The harsh reality is that these four barriers are very real, there is no sugar coating them.

For the majority of disabled people, going out on the town and “getting some” just doesn’t happen at the drop of a hat. Therefore, when they do get these opportunities, it becomes so much more than just a random hook up to satisfy sexual urges, however amazing that may feel at the time.

These barriers shouldn’t deter however, but sadly, they seem to nonetheless.