PERSONAL: Getting over a girl you can’t be with

As much as it doesn’t help when you hear it, the fact remains true that having a crush on someone you cannot be more than a friend with is something that we all go through at least once during a lifetime.


I don’t like the word crush.

I’ve always believed that feelings I have had for girls have been so much more than a simple crush.

So, how do you get over (for lack of a better phrase) somebody you have feelings for but can never be with?

Reasons you cannot be with this girl will vary.

She could be in a relationship with another guy, she may not like you in that way, she may be crushing on someone else, or she might just want to be a friend to you and nothing more.

Maybe the two of you just aren’t meant for a relationship.

The first thing you need to do is find a way to accept the situation and accept that you cannot be with this girl.

It is ok to be sad, sadness will be with you for a while during this period, but eventually you will come to realise that you can feel sad and unlucky for days on end, but eventually the time comes to get over it and move forward.

You really like this girl right? So, of course you’re going to be quite sad about not being with her in the way you want.

Next I think it is important to find a way to talk about how you feel, to the girl herself even.

It is easy, so very easy for things between the two of you to become awkward so you really need to find a way to tell this girl how you feel, but do it in a way that doesn’t make her feel guilty for not feeling the same way, but a way that helps her to understand how you feel, while at the same time you need to realise that she doesn’t feel the same way about you and she cannot really say anything that you will want to hear.

Find a way to talk, remember you and this girl are friends and as much as seeing her beautiful face day in and day out will make you yearn for her to be yours, just remember friendship is still a good thing!

At times you will feel so jealous, especially if she has a partner. But if you do anything, make sure you don’t make her feel guilty or bad because some other guy got there first.

Your feelings are yours and yours alone at this point. To be blunt, it is a problem and a problem only you know how to get yourself out of.

Lastly, you are going to be ok through this.

You’re not crazy, and you certainly aren’t needy or emotionally unstable, you simply like this really amazing girl who sadly will never be more than a friend to you.

It just isn’t meant to be, because if it was you wouldn’t be going through all this emotional turmoil just to be given a chance at being her boyfriend.

There is a girl out there who is better for you, but she has to find you and no matter how amazing you think this girl that you like but cannot be with is, there is somebody out there who is better.

Yes I said it, someone better.

I myself have been through this many times, in actual fact I am right at this moment as well.


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